What Coaching Does for Me (And What It Can Do for You Too)
I'm a creative person who lives life with a desire to make a difference. I can rely on myself to accomplish a lot, and adding a coach gets me to new levels faster, more effectively, and more in line with my initial vision of what I want to accomplish.
My first experience of being coached was in 1988 when I started my first company. I have had a coach on and off ever since.
My coach has conversations with me that open new possibilities and new opportunities. Coaching helps me stay on track, or more accurately, get back on track when I derail. Through being coached, I have learned to be my own ever-present coach.
Coaching is a way of being, a way of communicating, a way of living. It is choosing in every moment to listen or speak or do something based on what I am committed to, not just on what I am thinking or feeling. Coaching is choosing to be powerful and vulnerable at the same time.
When I am being a coach, I am passionate about making a difference in every conversation I have, every action that I take. I admit that I don't always want to do the work or even think that I can do it. But I am willing to do it anyway and take the risk of looking foolish or inadequate.
In coaching, I am using the gifts that I have been given and the lessons I have learned. It starts within myself, with being aware of my thoughts and hearing my heart as I awaken and experience each moment of the day.
Some mornings, my first thoughts are what I did not do yesterday and all of the things I think I did wrong. I feel heavy and burdened. I feel like lying on the couch and doing nothing. I ask, "Who cares and what does it matter anyway?"
I am recalling one of those days when I felt overwhelmed. Then a thought arrives: "Amy [my daughter] needs a math tutor." My heart sounds out how much I love my daughter and how much I want her to have the education that can give her choices in life.
I am fully present to how I will do whatever it takes to provide her with whatever she needs. I am now conscious of what I am committed to. I quickly review what's been accomplished. I see what is missing. As my own ever-present coach, at times such as these I stop, sit for a moment to connect with my true purpose, and ask, "What am I here to accomplish? How can I best use all the gifts I have been given?"
I jump off the couch and start jamming around the house to get ready for the day. Then the phone rings. My accountant never received the paperwork needed to prepare my tax form. I go into panic. As my thoughts come fast and furious, Amy yells out something from the other room. I look down at my schedule and see that I have an appointment in twenty minutes. But that's okay. I've reconnected to what I'm committed to, and can deal with whatever comes my way.
I am conscious of my thoughts and emotions, and have power to use these to create good things in my life. Coaching has been instrumental in bringing this out in me.
In the process of being coached, I find that I shift from wanting to know the answer, or even "knowing" the answer, to asking questions like: What am I committed to? What are the facts? What is missing? What would be possible if I include that which is missing? Questioning opens up new ways of looking at a situation, which in turn brings up new possibilities. (See my article Asking Powerful Questions.)
Coaching brings out the best in ourselves and in others. When we hear what is truly wanted and needed, we can uncover the most effective way to get there.
A coach is someone who is more committed to a person's fulfillment than to his or her comfort with the status quo. In order for coaches to do their work effectively, the people they coach must have a true desire to change the status quo, as uncomfortable as that may be, and have a clear project at hand. The request for coaching can only be made when we are ready to make the changes that will take us out of the box where we have kept ourselves.
The times that I make the biggest difference in my own life and in those around me are when I choose to act based on a commitment, not on what feels easy and comfortable. I risk telling the truth. The truth oftentimes brings up difficult thoughts and feelings. I must be willing to confront these before the truth can do its work of setting me and others free.
I must be prepared to deal with whatever shows up. I use coaching principles of empathic listening, of stating the facts, of acknowledging what's been accomplished, and of being open to what's possible.
The power of commitment that coaching brings out in me gives me the discipline to do my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual exercises.
The joy and peace that is the result of this work gives me the possibility of serving my purpose, and of choosing happiness in the moment no matter what the circumstance.
Having a coach in my corner has given me a way to consistently know and live my purpose. I have been especially thankful for coaching when I am starting and completing major projects and transitions.
Coaching can make all the difference when we accept the job that we are here to do and allow for all of the support that is available.